Bogota, Colombia (2400m)

At this height, Bogota is one chilly city but the funky neighborhoods, young students and cool museums make it a great stop. Colombia is the home of Fernando Botero, a wonderful painter and sculptor who tends to portray his subjects a tad on the chubby side. His 'Mona Lisa' is below.

Pablo Escobar

Though a scenic, fun and mainly peaceful country, Colombia is still tarnished by its history of violence, particularly between the Cali and Medellin cocaine cartels. Known as 'El Patron', Pablo Escobar was one of the worst instigators of gun crime, assassinations and extreme violence. He was finally imprisoned but escaped in 1992. An elite police squad tracked him down 499 days later; he never saw day 500. Now if the country could only eliminate FARC.

Barichara, Colombia

From the small town of Barichara there is a sweet country walk to the tiny village of Guane. Superb sites.

San Gil, Colombia

Rafting is really for wimps who have never learned to white-water kayak. It is so perfect for me. A trip on the Rio Suarez was crazy. With names like the Devil's Throat and Labyrinth 1&2, the class IV and V+ rapids were explosive and heart-stopping.

Check out the trip here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGDatODUecQ

La Ciudad Perdida, Colombia

Fantastic. One of the highlights of Colombia is the 5-day hike to 'the Lost City', an ancient stone site hidden in the jungle-covered mountains. Here lies the remains of Teyuna, a wildly impressive terraced settlement, built on steep ground above the Buritaca River. From the river's edge to the entrance is a 1200-stair climb, straight up. Founded in AD800, Teyuna has about 170 terraces, a network of tiled paths and many plazas. Each staircase and platform was meticulously constructed using tons of rock and cut stone and the stonework was cleverly designed to mitigate erosion from the region's heavy rain.

La Ciudad Perdida 2, Colombia

No, those are not my legs. They are Irish, in fact, a victim of the persistent and ravenous jungle mosquitoes. Reaching Teyuna means mud - mud so thick that only Glastonbury Fest '07 can compete. At any moment, I thought I was going to slip then slide down a long mud shute and land between Kathleen Turner's legs. Add the bugs, hot sun and multiple waist-deep river crossings. The black dog that followed us had more trouble with the rivers. Several indigenous groups still live in the mountains, subsisting in very basic conditions. The men chew coca leaves 24/7 while the girls and young women still endure other ills, including polygamy and arranged 'marriages' at the age of 12.

Cartagena de Indias, Colombia

If you loved 80's Friday night TV then you may remember Tubbs & Crockett cruising to Cartagena to kick some smack-smuggler's butt while in the background a soulful Phil Colins belted out 'I Don't Care Anymore'. The ugly days of cocaine cartels are long gone and, today, Cartagena is one of South America's nicest cities.

Founded in 1533 to warehouse Spanish loot from the interior, it was a favorite target of French and British pirates. Now tourists flock to its beaches and pristine colonial streets. At night, plazas and terraces fill with visitors while tree-lined parks host impromptu chess matches. It is a glorious place.

Crossing to Colombia

Fancy driving to South America? Well the Pan American Hwy is not so Pan American: there is no road link between Central & South America. About 200km of inhospitable jungle, swamp and banditos separate Panama and Colombia. Known as the Darien Gap, Scotland bet the farm on colonizing the region in 1698; the ensuing financial ruin forced its amalgamation with England 9 years later. A National Geographic expedition actually did drive the Gap in 1961 but no one since.

Bugs and Life: Central America

In China, it was rare to see any bugs, never mind any wildlife: it was as if they had all been vacuumed up and eaten. Hmm... Central America was the opposite. Despite widespread deforestation for the (asinine) ranching of cattle, the region was full of cool bugs and critters. The climate is so moist and diverse that grass even grows thick on the overhead power lines.

Puerto Lindo, Panama

Dame tu dinero o te voy a matar! DAME TU DINERO O TE VOY A MATAR!

Give me your money or I'm going to kill you!

Lucky I didn't know enough Spanish to understand what he was shouting. On a dark Sunday night, on a quiet country road, the town's cocaine addict had a shot at relieving me and my pal, Matt, of our money. A strong, shirtless black guy, he came out of nowhere, held what we thought was a machete and pulled me to the ground. He got nothing in the end, 'cept arrested.

'Lindo' is the Spanish word for lovely or pretty. For me, not so much.

The Joy of Cheap Sleeps

To travel cheaply is to travel rough: local buses, basic restaurants, cheap hostels and and simple hotels where quality can vary to the extreme. The best are spotlessly clean, quaint and comfy and might include a bathroom, hot water, air-con, a view, a patio, hammocks, a softish mattress, drinking water, a swimming pool or maybe a TV.

Sure, sure. More often, its shared dorms with noisy, stinky boys and messy girls, cold water showers, no toilet seat, 4am roosters, 5am barking dogs, 6am transport trucks, a dangerously old ceiling fan, and dirty bathrooms.

My worst room (so far) was in Panama. It looked OK to start then I found mouse droppings under the bed that attracted many large, sinfully ugly cockroaches. The bathroom was infested with mosquitoes and the shower, tap and toilet all spurted thick, black water. At night, the room filled with mossies and boom boom music from the neighbor next door. The cost: an outrageous $12.

Portobelo, Panama

Columbus stopped here in 1502 and for nearly 200 years it was the main Spanish port on the Caribbean coast, handling tons of gold, silver and precious cargo. Sir Francis Drake died nearby (1595) and many pirates had various success at sacking it. Today, the canons and thick fort walls remain but the rest of Portobelo is a desperate hovel. An historic gem otherwise, the garbage-lined streets, burning diapers, emaciated dogs, widespread poverty and high unemployment make it tough to stay the night. I did anyway. Yikes.

Traveling Solo Again

After months on the road together, Miranda took leave of this crazy world of travel and returned to Canada for work. It was a sad day for both of us. With a partner in crime, you develop routines and patterns: simple things like one guards the packs while the other finds the next bus, a new hotel, a bank or a place to eat. Going solo is a completely different experience. Buen viaje y buena suerte, BLP.

Panama City, Panama

Home of the Panama Canal and a popular 'flag of convenience', Panama once housed Col. Manuel Noriega, the shah of Iran and guests of 'Survivor: Pearl Islands.' What a legacy. The city is an interesting mix of classic colonial architecture and modern, gleaming skyscrappers.

The country is small but the history fascinating. After decades of unrest, Jimmy Carter authorized the return of the US Canal Zone in 1999. Meanwhile, the goofball Noriega took power, declaring war on the US in 1989, and prompting a swift US invasion. He is still in the clinker in Florida.

'Banana Republics'

Transformed into Chiquita Brands in 1980, the former United Fruit Company caused much chaos and grief in Central America. Once the largest employer here, the company owned huge tracts of land to supply bananas and pineapples to the US and Europe. Its political power was immense. It bribed politicians, treated workers ruthlessly and arranged the 1954 US-backed coup in Guatemala. A nasty legacy for Miss Chiquita Banana.

Bocas del Toro, Panama

Still a central base for one of Chiquita's banana operations, Bocas is a sweet mix of warm ocean and Afro-Caribbean charm, music and food. The weather can be intense with bucketing rain and "one-count" thunderstorms. Lightening strikes hit almost directly overhead; one-count later, deafening thunder shakes you silly. Cool.

Cahuita, Costa Rica

Cahuita was my favorite stop in Costa Rica: a sleepy seaside village with a beautiful beach and an impressive drumming troupe. One night was little different though. I noticed a pack of excited dogs down one dirt track, likely attacking another dog. I hurled some rocks and walked over to see. The pack scattered, leaving the victim in the grass, a seemingly small mound of brown fur. I called to her, hoping she would scatter too but she just shifted so very slowly. I turned to leave, angry and frustrated that I could do little for this helpless lump; the dogs would return and kill her. But I couldn't sanction that scene. Closer this time, the fur took shape: one bent leg, a paw and a few long, curved claws. Son of a bitch, this was sloth.

What the hell? Now what? Would any anyone here care enough to help? I left Miranda on guard and came back with the local police. One young cop was impressive: he lifted the animal, checking her for wounds. Terrified, in pain and exhausted, the sloth's mouth gaped open and her brown eyes glared back at us. Her face was so unusual, hairless, soft and wrinkled, with a long rounded snout. A few phone calls and some anxious waiting: a local sloth sanctuary would take delivery of our jungle girl. The same young cop lifted her into the pick-up, her long body stretched to the ground. Off they drove.

She was, in fact, a very young female Choloepus: a two-fingered sloth.
She died on route.

Footage of two younger versions at the Aviarios sanctuary is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_1t51c-d4Y

Riding High

Fancy buses? Miss riding around in your old school bus? Well, chances are, it retired to Nicaragua. Here you can experience those green vinyl seats all over again. Called 'chicken buses' for the occasional onboard poultry, these beasts ply all the major routes. They're cheap, they stop anywhere and they are always pimped with Latino music and religious motifs. Magic.

San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua

Que bonito! A lovely spot on the Pacific, San Juan del Sur is all about beaches, surfing, hermit crabs, warm evenings and sunsets.

The Sandinistas, Nicaragua

Save for Costa Rica, the politics in Central America have had an ugly pattern. Due to skewed land ownership, corruption and US interference, much of the region has suffered from civil war and grinding poverty. Ruled by the harsh, kleptocratic Samoza regime, Nicaraguans fought back, starting with Augusto Sandino in the 1920s. In July 1979, the Sandinistas finally overthrew the Samoza family. We were near Managua for the 29th anniversary celebrations. Que fiesta!

Ronald Reagan secretly funded anti-Sandinista guerrillas in the 1980s, culminating in the Iran-Contra scandal. It gave Americans, and the world, vivid insight into the startling power of Colonel Oliver North, most notably his tactical skill in hiring his exquisite and unbelievably named secretary, Fawn Hall.

Isla de Ometepe, Nicaragua

Formed by two ancient volcanoes and in the middle of massive Lake Nicaragua, Ometepe is a fabulous island to explore. It was here, though, that I fell out of my infallibility tree, stumbling on a morning run, my arms and legs nicely etched with the dark volcanic rock and soil.

Captain Morgan

Got a little Captain in you? Well, Sir Henry Morgan was a real pirate, a Welsh one at that, and a major pain-in-the-butt for Spain. As conquistadors looted Central America and Peru, tons of gold, silver and jewels were amassed in coastal warehouses before being the trip to Spain. Privateers like Morgan attacked these ports, wreaking havoc. In 1643, he plundered Trujillo (Honduras); in 1665, he leveled Grenada (Nicaragua); in 1668, he destroyed Portobelo (Panama); and, in 1672, he marched overland to sack Panama Viejo. Located far from the Caribbean and on a massive inland lake, Grenada was a tough one; Morgan had to sail his fleet up the Rio San Juan and cross Lake Nicaragua.

Knighted in 1674, the admiral retired to the debauchery of Port Royal, Jamaica, and died in 1688, a very wealthy man.

Grenada, Nicaragua

Nicaragua was one of my favorite countries and Grenada one of my favorite towns. Full of beautiful colonial buildings, churches, narrow streets and fun people, it is also home to 500 years of history.

Christopher Columbus and the Conquistadors

Not the most enlightened human but an outstanding navigator, Columbus (a.k.a. Cristobal Colon) made four voyages to this region. Initially rebuffed by Portugal (oops!), Italy's Columbus explored the Caribbean and Central & South American coastline, claiming it all for Spain. Here, he found the soon-to-be-doomed 'Indians' wearing large amounts of gold.

In the early 1500s, the conquistadors followed: looting, destroying and colonizing the region. This ugly bunch of Spaniards were mostly young, illiterate criminals, searching for get-rich schemes. They formed independent factions, occasionally fighting each other. One of the meanest, Pedro de Alvarado, burnt indigenous captives alive or fed them to the dogs, shocking even Hernan Cortes, himself no nice guy.

Columbus remains a controversial figure but his name is absolutely everywhere: Columbus, OH, GA, IN, MS & WI; Columbia, SC, MD & MO; Washington D.C. (District of Columbia); Columbia Univ.; the country of Colombia; the city of Colon, Panama; Colombo, capital of Sri Lanka. Even British Columbia was named by Queen Victoria after the Columbia River, which was named after a ship, which was named after Columbus. Too bad, really.

Copan Ruinas, Honduras

A great town next to another set of beautiful Mayan ruins, Copan comes complete with cobblestone streets, cheap cigars, magnificent ceiba trees, howler monkeys and macaws.